Some of our Family Values

My daughter's school will be hosting a production of "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf," a poetic drama about African-American women. Some of those women deal with the effects of rape, forced pregnancy, domestic violence, and poverty; Some of the women despair, and others triumph.

The play satisfies our family's feminist theology. We believe that lyrical art like "For Colored Girls" is necessary for putting us in touch with the pain faced by many women, and with the courage they gather. It is one of the few works of art in which an oppressed group of women has found a voice that can transform an audience, and call the listeners to response. In our family, this call to response is a sacred value.

We believe in our responsibility, as well-educated and economically privileged women, to be constantly aware of injustices toward women, to be actively involved in correcting them, and to embrace and learn from the courage of women who rise above unimaginable squalor. We remember that -- because we have not yet overcome our history of enslaving African women -- that they are more vulnerable than we are.

We teach these values to our daughter. We discuss the observations she shares with us about injustice toward poor women, violence against women, rape, and abortion, in the context of our belief about our responsibility. It is why, we tell her, we have chosen the work we do every day; why we place the lives of people for whom we care above the money we get from caring for them; why we do not tolerate pejorative words against any woman; why we cannot make choices for any other woman based on our personal experiences; and why we believe that racism will not go away until we are convinced that our black sisters can actually teach us more than we can teach them.

The lessons she our learns at home are reinforced at her school. She and her friends have many opportunities, in a safe environment, to share with each other their experiences regarding sexism and racism. We see her not ignoring issues relating to even subtle forms of sexism and racism. We are grateful that our daughter's beliefs, formed in her family, are reinforced at her school.

In stark contrast, many girls and women are silenced about what hurts them, and the collusion imposed upon them to not find their voices perpetuates the violence against them. I know these girls and women well, as I care for them in my clinical practice. Works of art like "For Colored Girls" powerfully shatter that collusion of secrecy.



Here is my favorite line from "For Colored Girls:"

"I found God in myself
And I loved her
I loved her fiercely."

We are grateful for our daughter, who finds something sacred in herself, and in every girl she knows. And in this, we believe.